To Follow

Take it all and I will follow.

Easy to say and hard to swallow.

Many times the road is bumpy and unclear.

But, you whisper softly, do not fear.

I don't understand or I don't want to go this way,

You say, take my hand I am the way.

I want answers, fixes, and trials with quick ends.

But, your journey in molding me is long, hard, and my heart you seek to mend.

You look past situations and troubles of this world,

You desire to rebuild me and make me completely restored.

Will you trust me? Will you follow? Will you surrender?

In me you find rest, in me you find peace, my love is soft and tender.

I desire to be your joy, your love, and your stronghold,

So listen to my words, obey my commands, and be patient as your journey unfolds.

Inside your heart is the joy and peace that I am,

It can't be bought or found in man.

I am peace, choose me and focus on my words,

Enjoy the process of me making you new,

I desire to simply see.. myself in you.

Letting Go

Letting go. How many times have I heard or said...let go and let God. There are many lessons to be learned about allowing God to be in control. As I watch my daughter walk into her school each morning I say a prayer of love and protection over her. She looks so cute and mature as a little first grader walking slowly with her backpack. My heart just overflows as I see her enter the school. How I wish I could be there and make sure each and every thing went her way! Her friends only said encouraging things to her and of course, she always finished her work completely and neatly!! But, I have to let her go and trust God.

With many other situations under my radar and circumstances which I have responsibility , I  have the desire to take over. I know how this should go! If I can only do this or work really hard here it will all be alright. God knows my tendency. It's not so much that I hold onto material possessions , but more that I just want everything to be ok. I want people to be happy, trials to end quickly, and endings to be joyful. Who enjoys pain? Who enjoys discomfort? Who enjoys the unknown?


As I get closer to my heavenly father I gain a clearer perspective. I can look back at my life and see how God has never let me go. When I have fallen and been released into his grasp, despite my circumstances, are the times I have been truly safe. Situations around me have been crazy. Things didn't always go my way, but more importantly, I was clinging tightly to the one who could really save me. I haven't got it yet. God knows He is giving me more opportunities to learn this one! It isn't perfection, safety, or even happiness that I am to obtain. It's total dependence on the one who changes me. Who gives me real joy. Who knows my heart. Who even if He doesn't change a circumstance, hasn't forgotten me. He is simply developing me into his character.

So with those that I have been entrusted with and am honored to love, may I point them to Him. May I help them navigate their circumstances in life through His perspective...as I let them GO. Unfortunately, the one way they learn this best is through my example. May I release my grasp and let go and let God. He is faithful, good, and can be trusted.

The Path Worth Taking: Enjoy the Mess

The Path Worth Taking: Enjoy the Mess: Dirty dishes, laundry, dirty floors, need I say more. Right now my dining room looks more like a laundromat than a place to eat dinner. Unlo...

Enjoy the Mess

Dirty dishes, laundry, dirty floors, need I say more. Right now my dining room looks more like a laundromat than a place to eat dinner. Unloading the dishwasher simply to fill it up with all of the dishes in the sink, is also a common occurrence in our home. I am pretty sure I clean up the same toys three or four times a day. Our kitchen counter quickly accumulates mail, homework papers, etc. Yes, I do have organizers and even a bulletin board to keep everything neat and tidy.

I love it when everything is in it's place. Carpet freshly vacuumed, furniture dusted, and all princess attire and all toys with wheels neatly tucked away. I take a deep breath, look around and admire my work. It lasts about 30 seconds...and life goes on.

My life is full. Just like yours. My son, Ben, has eating issues as a result of a stroke he had at the age of 6 weeks. He has slowly and I mean slowly progressed and is eating a couple solid foods. When he eats he makes a huge mess! He can get an animal cracker to cover his entire body from head to toe. But, I am so thankful for the mess. He is so full of life!

These situations, struggles, and messes remind me that I am fully alive. I am thankful that God isn't finished with me. That he takes me to the tough places and has me deal with the messes in my heart. I will be the first to say I don't always see things that way. I would rather everything stay neat and tidy up on a shelf. But, is that really living? Life is messy.

 Did you brush your teeth? Did you brush them good? Where are your shoes? Get in the car.  Many days those are major ordeals in the life of any family. Especially, when you needed to be in the car ten minutes ago! However, sometimes life's trials are bigger: a sickness, discouragement, or finances. We all have them and we all face them.

 So over the past few years I have pondered the question is easy really easy? If everything went perfectly what would my life look like? I realized I would have no need for God. I could simply handle things on my own and never really tap into His ultimate grace and power. Therefore, I would be missing the point of my entire life. I have discarded the ultimate goal of keeping my life comfortable and under my control. Unfortunately, this was not by a little decision I woke up to one beautifully sunny morning. It has taken God prying my hands off of things, releasing my control in some of the most important things in my life to break me free. To rest in His embrace and to cling tightly to His word and walk through life instead of avoiding it. Our purpose defines our steps. If we seek comfort, control, and seclusion from the world our steps must be safe, chosen by us, and separated from those God created us to love. But, thank God we were created for so much more. We were designed to make a big deal out of God, to show off His power, to radiate His love, and give Him glory. So for today, I will choose to rest in my trials- covered by His faithfullness and  admit my fear and lack of control. Allowing Him to do his showing off so He can get the glory, only He deserves.