I like absolutes. I love formulas. If you do this then you will get this. Easy, predictable and controllable. I tend to try to simplify life to those formulas. I don't think it is the easy part that attracts me. It is the structure and the ability to see what I am seeking to attain. However, it doesn't seem to really help. It actually creates a goal that leaves me feeling defeated and at a loss for hope. I always seem to come up short and realize that life is just not that black and white. In my journey of putting unrealistic expectations on myself, I am ever aware that I am not enough. I am not perfect and my focus and goal of reaching these accolades is well, impossible. Some might say that is super discouraging. I say it is freeing. Coming to terms with my inadequacies is nothing new.
One area where I tend to swing back and forth is my relationship with Christ and others. There are times where I solely focus on growing closer to Him and digging into what He has for me. I become rigid on what I should be doing and how I should be doing it. Reading, praying and then when I fall short, I become frustrated. Or, I tend to focus so much of my attention outwardly. I desire friendships and spend my time investing in my relationships. Both of those are important things. I just tend to narrow my focus to one or the other. Not intentionally, but naturally.
The freedom and lesson that I am learning is that I need both. Not out of obligation but out of need. I find that if I am growing closer to Christ I naturally want to grow closer to others. It provides the foundation and confidence to build relationships. At the same time, as I spend time with friends and journey through life together I have a greater desire to spend time with Christ. My journey with Christ leads me past my black and white thinking in many areas and leads me to the true freedom that Christ intended.
I encourage you today to allow yourself to walk in the grace Christ gives. Look past the rigidness of religion and walk in the freedom of truth. We need Christ and we need each other. The path to true freedom is one worth taking........
