Trials

Let's just be honest. Sometimes life is just hard, unfair, and ridiculous. We search our theologies and dig deep for our understanding of suffering. Even when we find truth that God never leaves us, we live in a fallen world, and no hurt is ever wasted we still might struggle through our difficulties. We might have days where it is  hard to find the positive or we might have a full blown pity party. Either way, we  have all been there.

My kiddos are all very capable of throwing a grand fit, as their mother I usually can see one coming. Either it is fighting over a toy or one child accomplishing the easy task of annoying the others. I find myself looking for ways to intervene and stop the storm from brewing. However, sometimes I don't get there fast enough and emotions rise, tempers, flair, and the tears flow. I used to think that preventing these tantrums was my job. If I was a good parent then my kids wouldn't throw such fits. They would behave and stay under control. But, my son Benjamin has taught me a different perspective on emotions. He has sensory issues and can often escalate pretty fast if something is bothering him. Although, we constantly work on ways not to have meltdowns and work through our problems God has used Ben to gently reminded me that our feelings are real and deserve our attention. He has taught me that sometimes life gets a little out of control and we need a little help working through it. Great freedoms are found in true friendships of honesty and transparency.

We can deal with our struggles in a few ways. Perhaps, we choose to believe that we must not focus on them and keep going no matter what the cost. We try to earn the "I am a Super Christian" badge of honor, which by the way does not exist. We think we must do this to be good Christian or if we have enough faith  we won't struggle during hard times. We press through choosing to live in denial and not learn, grow, or move at all. However, our trials are sent to teach us, move us, shape us, and ultimately make us more like Christ. They are very real, tangible, and meant to be faced. We must engage not evade.

 James 1:2 states, "Consider it all joy my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds...". This joy is found not in the trial, but where there trial leads us. In our journey of dealing with Benjamin's needs we have faced countless trials. We have cried many tears, been frustrated beyond measure, and greatly rejoiced in tiny steps. We have found "joy" as we engage in this journey and it continues to shape us all. Life can get messy and usually doesn't go as planned. It isn't any different for any person. Our trials just look a little different. We all have them. Life is like a road. Bumps are sometimes huge potholes and we aren't sure we can ever climb out. Sometimes they are speed bumps that get our attention. Either way we are going to feel them.


One of my greatest joys is found in the messed up sayings of Ben. He hears us say things and often repeats them to the best of his ability. The other day in the kitchen he came over to me and said, "Mom, what would I ever do with you? You are the best mom I never had!"  His confused saying might seem silly or disappointing to some, but to me it rings of true joy and the faithfulness of God in every trial. It is a path worth taking.